The Exceptional Average
Why each of us is capable of exceptionalism, despite the fact most of us are average
I’ve always sought to be average. As far back as I can remember, I’ve always strived to blend in and not stand out. I’ve always strived to be average.
This may be due to fact that I was (from 8yrs old) always different. One of the only handful of black boys within a 300 mile radius, having had the privilege of being sent to elite private boarding schools in the UK. Standing out like a sore thumb was the norm for me. I hated it. All I longed for was to belong; to blend in; to be average.
But in such an environment being average meant being ok academically (else a dummy), ok at sports (else a wimp), and still relatively sociable (else a geek). Hence I was pretty decent at all three, and had to be, though none came naturally to me; save for sports, perhaps.
This is the background to my general admiration of average’ people that become successes or in some way exceed (their own) positive expectations. The maverick, genius, naturally talented/charismatic personality-based success stories rarely interest me. To me, such people (though I may respect their achievements) are equivalent to the schoolmate that was always messing about and cracking jokes in class, and seemingly didn’t revise, yet always got top marks. Grrrrr!!!!!
From my perspective, such people’s successes/achievements are based on ‘gifts’ (although where consciously nurtured and harnessed, I do respect) rather than some methodical combination of (learnable) skills, desire, discipline and consistency. Things well within the average person’s capabilities.
Now when I say average, I mean “the mean”; not ‘mediocre’. I could go into definitions, but Google is free. The long and short of it, however, is that I am referring to the fact that the majority of human beings are in the median (average) band in most aspects of human existence. This spans from intellect, to health, to family/societal values, and to aspirations (in a general sense).
Ironically, in our current times the societal trend is towards the (extreme) obsession with individualism and striving to be “different”. But this is now such a common expression that it can arguably be classified as something that the “average” person strives for and believes they are defined by. In other words, a confirmation of the trend of the majority of people being in the median (read ‘average’) category with respect to their views of the world.
But then there is an exceptionalism that can emerge, has emerged, and will always be capable of emerging from the average person. This is because I believe every person is capable of exceptionalism with the right of mix ingredients that are ever present in all of us, namely: basic life skills/survival instincts, desire to improve, discipline to learn, courage to execute and determination to succeed. If you will, they’re an equivalent to the building blocks of life, which can result in an improved/evolved version of such life. This is what I call the “exceptional average”.
But back to the concept of the average itself. By seeing myself first and foremost as an average person, it reminds me that I am not particularly special, and thus I cannot/must not rely on any (real/false) gifts I may have to achieve my goals. I have to be humble to know I must learn more skills; desire to learn and be disciplined enough to internalise them; then brave enough to implement them. All these are things that can be learnt and imbibed, though they each can also naturally exist different people.
Whilst the overwhelming majority of voices in today’s society tend to espouse how each of us are unique, different and capable of changing the world by sheer force of will/desire, the older I get the more I tend to take a differing view. Though we are each indeed unique, we are all more similar than different; we are each average for the most part. But we each also have the capacity to become an exceptional average; thereby increasing the capability of possibly changing the world by the effects of our becoming exceptional.
In summary, know that (whether you like it or not) you are more likely than not average.
Become an exceptional average.